Communications of the ACM
Logan Ury Says You're Dating All Wrong
Ms. Ury has a Harvard psychology degree and a book that’s gone into its eighth printing and has been translated into 14 languages. To stand out amid those who love to explain love, Ms. Ury packages her coaching as precise and prestigious, applying t
Credit: Marissa Leshnov/The New York Times
In the backyard of a luxury commune, slouched on the stones between a wood-barrel sauna and a cobalt blue Ping-Pong table, Logan Ury flicked fragments of acorns off her dress while the woman across from her recited her attachment style. A hot tub burbled in the background, where a string of fairy lights drooped between trees.
The woman said she was "avoidant," which was why she was single, why she had sought Ms. Ury's help.
Maybe the woman wasn't anxious, necessarily, Ms. Ury said; maybe she was getting in her own way, overthinking things. In Ms. Ury's words, the woman was her own "blocker." Ms. Ury suggested that since the woman tended to meet her past romantic partners in person, she should spend some of her limited free time bouldering, chatting with fellow climbers and scanning for potential love interests, instead of thumbing through the dating apps.
Ms. Ury, 34, is part of a long lineage of love experts who have built a dating pundit industrial complex. Of late, they have been joined by TikTokers and podcasters and Instagram infographic makers who churn out random dating "rules" — wait three hours before responding to a text, tell men they make you feel safe, curb every impulse to fight with your partner.
From The New York Times
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